Learning self-love – can you do it at all? Of course you can!
And here I show you how you can achieve more self-love in 5 steps.

“Your task is not to look for love.
Your task is to find the blocks within you that are blocking it.”


Self love – the source of all love

Self-love is the basis of all love in your life. Self-love – as the word suggests, begins with you. You will not truly love another person wholeheartedly for their sake until you also love yourself wholeheartedly for your own sake.

You have within you an abundance of love, a never-ending fountain of love from which you can nourish and refresh those around you. Provided that your inner source bubbles freely. As Rumi put it so beautifully in words: It’s not about finding love. It’s about dissolving the inner blocks that prevent it.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, your ethnological background, or your spiritual belief system. Love and relationships are the most important thing in life for almost all of us – chances are very high that this is also the case for you.

So self-love may be the most important thing in your life – because it is the foundation on which everything else is built: your relationships, your overall quality of life, your health, your career. Your entire future depends on how your self-love is. The act of loving and accepting yourself has a direct impact on everything in your life.

4 Schritte zu mehr Selbstliebe

What are the most common blockages and how can you solve them?

1. The fear of seeing and being seen

Do you know the feeling that you would like to hide certain parts of yourself? That you create an image of yourself, your image, which you show to prevent that YOU are truly seen? Or when you stand naked in front of the mirror, that you can hardly look at some parts? Have you ever looked at yourself as you are? With all your flaws, weaknesses, strengths and gifts?


  1. Use the Acceptance essential oil blend daily. It will help you to accept yourself as you are so that you can accept others as they are.

2. Practice giving and receiving compliments. Start with yourself – when you stand in front of the mirror in the morning, for example. This is an ideal moment to compliment yourself. And give at least 3 people a day an honest compliment that comes from the heart. And when you receive a compliment – learn to enjoy it and accept it with grace.


Essential oils tip: Acceptance helps you to accept yourself. Just as you are. Inhale Acceptance. And apply it to the areas of your body that you have difficulty accepting. Do this with loving movements, anointing movements. And tell your body part your love.

Acceptance is from the aroma archetypes point of view very complete mixture. Come, let me show you:

Essential oils from the seeds: Coriander (Coriandrum sativum) essential oil helps you release resistance and attachments to old beliefs and open to new possibilities and energies.

Essential oils from the leaves: spearmint (Mentha spicata), kaffir lime (Citrus hystrix), ocotea (Ocotea quixos). Green mint cleanses the environment from impurities. It cools you, your feelings and digests your heated emotions. Ocotea cleanses and is popularly used to work on a spiritual level.

Essential oils from the flowers: geranium (Pelargonium graveolen), neroli (Citrus aurantium amara), davana (Artemisia pallens), jasmine (Jasminum officinal), chamomile (Chamomilla recutita), ylang ylang (Cananga odorata), blue tansy (Tanacetum annuum), rose (Rosa damascena).

Flowers bring the love, the playful, the aesthetic into life. Geranium, for example, supports the mind, spirit and body emotionally. It helps you release negative emotions and negative memories. It supports you to overcome fears of abandonment, love and devotion. She asks you to accept yourself and love yourself more. And the more you love yourself, the more you can love others.

Essential oils from the fruits: Lemon (Citrus limon), Bergamot (Citrus aurantium bergamia), Grapefruit (Citrus paradisi), Mandarin (Citrus reticulata).

These fruits help you to find a friendly balance. They bring a calm, content happiness into your life. Lemon, for example, is cleansing on all levels. Specifically, you can dissolve ingrained patterns with the help of lemon, and your heart is also especially happy about lemon because it brings in sunshine and warmth.

Resin essential oils: Frankincense (Boswellia carteri).

The resins are the spiritual ones, they remind you of your source, your origin, your true being. Especially frankincense is calming and centering, so you can find your center and come to rest. From here, you will find it easy to access your inner truth.

Wood essential oils: Royal Hawaiian Sandalwood (Santalum paniculatum), Blue Cypress (Callitris intratropica).

The woods are the entrepreneurs – the ones who take action and get things done, and don’t shy away from the work involved – on the contrary. They love to get into the action. Essential oils such as sandalwood also help you to come into your intuition, into a higher state of mindfulness especially when it comes to unconditional love.

Six of the nine aroma archetypes are included in Acceptance. This is a very special and precious blend which can help you in a special way to grow in your personality and become more complete.

2. The fear of opening up

To receive love you must be open, to give love you must be open. Being open to give love means that you not only love and trust yourself, but also the world around you.

This can always be a big challenge, especially when you experience the world as a cold, unkind place. But the more you open your heart to love, the more loving and positive experiences you will have.


To practice this, start smiling at the people you meet on the street. And when you meet someone you can help, do so. This small gesture will help you open up and invite trust and compassion into your life.


Essential oils tip: Apply a drop of jasmine to your heart every day for the next month. Jasmine gives off a warm, floral, sweet scent and has been considered a symbol of hope, happiness and love for many centuries.

Also known as Queen of the Night, this is a very uplifting and sensual essential oil. If you would like to strengthen love in your life, I invite you to take the Jasmine Challenge: apply a drop to your heart each morning. Inhale the fragrance. Feel for a moment how your heart opens to love.

3. The fear of not being good enough

Each of us has fears, they are a normal part of life. The trick is not to allow them to rule your life. When you are afraid of not being good enough or smart enough or beautiful enough, you block the flow of love and abundance in your life.

When you accept yourself, with flaws and scratches and everything that belongs to you, then you open your heart to love. You can then release the blockages that prevent you from receiving and experiencing love.


To walk this path, first walk the path of forgiveness. This means that you forgive and accept everything in you that you consider “wrong”, not lovable, flawed or not good enough. Cleanse yourself and free yourself from them so that they are no longer part of your belief systems. Replace them with uplifting, positive and empowering thoughts.


The essential oil that can help you with this is Forgiveness – this is a very powerful essential oil blend consisting of 15 essential oils.

Forgiveness consists of: Sesame (Sesamum indicum) oil from the seeds, Melissa (Melissa officinalis) oil from the leaves, Geranie (Pelargonium graveolens) oil from the flowers, Frankincense (Boswellia carterii) oil from the resin, Royal Hawaiian Sandalwood (Santalum paniculatum) oil from the wood, Coriander (Coriandrum sativum) oil from the seed, Angelica archangelica (Angelica archangelica) oil from the roots, Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) oil, Bergamot (Citrus aurantium bergamia) oil (furanocoumarin-free), Lemon (Citrus limon) oil from the peels, Ylang Ylang (Cananga odorata) oil from the flowers, Jasmine (Jasminum officinale) flower extract, Strawflower (Helichrysum italicum) oil, Roman chamomile (Anthemis nobilis) oil from the flowers, Palmarosa (Cymbopogon martini) oil, Rose (Rosa damascena) oil from the flowers.

Forgiveness helps you to forgive and to forget. Forgiveness will help you to forgive negative emotions, betrayal, mistrust and revenge. It will help you step out of the state of self-denial so that you can forgive yourself. So that you can forget and let go. So that no resentment or ill will is left behind.

Remember, forgiveness is the first step on the path to healing hurts and betrayals. Start by consciously forgiving yourself even for small things. Use the essential oil Forgiveness to help you always remember what is best for your development and growth.

4. Condemn yourself and others

Do condemnations of yourself or others easily pass your lips?”

Do you know the saying, “Only when you have walked in my shoes can you judge me”? If you notice how you think or talk badly about others, or even think or talk badly about yourself, that not only lowers your vibration, but also prevents your heart from opening to love.

If you are quick to judge others, this is an indication that you are also quick to judge yourself and your actions. This takes you far away from love into a state of limitation and fear.

Instead of judging yourself and others, practice understanding and compassion. Be loving and gentle with yourself, be loving and gentle with others.


This does not mean that you should tolerate bad behavior. It means that you can find a loving and understanding way to deal with life’s challenges and situations.

Ylang Ylang

Ylang Ylang essential oil is known to bring into balance, into equilibrium. When you are at rest in your center, it is easy for you to be in your love and grace.

Ylang Ylang helps you let go of emotions of anger, possessiveness, and low self-worth. Positive emotions such as self-worth, self-love, and gentleness will take root in your life. Gentleness especially – it is not the opposite of strength. Gentleness is a strength all its own.

“Go beyond judgment and stereotypes – they are self-imposed, a limited view of what is really true.”

For compassion, create yourself an oil blend of lavender, rose, geranium, marjoram and chamomile:

  • 3 drops lavender
  • 2 drops of rose
  • 2 drops geranium
  • 1 drop marjoram,
  • 1 drop of Ylang Ylang

5. Lack of self-expression

Do you know what you want? Do you really know what you long for?

Learn to express yourself. Not only to others, but first and foremost to yourself. This is one of the most powerful steps to a life filled with love.

Get really clear about what you are really about. What needs, what desires underlie what you want? Who are you? Who is the real, actual you?

Become really aware of what is slumbering inside of you. Connect with the desires of your heart. Ask your heart what it most desires at this time. Is now the time to have a committed partner by your side? Or to live love freely and unattached? Is it just time to be alone or is it time to connect you with people? Whatever it may be – enter into dialogue with your heart, it knows all the answers.


Listen to your heart. Every day anew, practice it.

And get the appropriate essential oils to help you. For example, make your own blend of Jade Lemon, Sage, Spearmint, Orange and Myrtle. These are all essential oils that support you in your self-expression.


Myrtle essential oil helps you resolve inner conflicts that prevent you from showing up in the world and expressing yourself.

The most important thing on your path to self-love is to remain gentle and loving with yourself. Practice forbearance and understanding, also towards yourself.

A few basic tips for more self – love in your life:

  • Anoint and oil yourself – use the positive properties of your essential oils!
  • Practice yoga, tai chi or other forms of movement that also physically support you in opening your heart area,
  • Use mantras and songs that support you in manifesting love in your life (e.g. the mantra OM MANI PADME HUM).
  • Surround yourself with things that bring joy to your heart: pictures, crystals, colors, scents…
  • Nurture your relationships with friends, family and co. Get creative on how to strengthen and nurture them even in times like these.
  • Breathe – imagine breathing fresh oxygen into your chest and exhaling whatever is troubling your heart with each exhale.
  • Practice gratitude every day
  • Open yourself to new experiences, open yourself to the wonders of life.
    Pay attention to the patterns you have built around love. Listen to them and find out what they are trying to tell you.
  • Learn to prioritize the voice of your heart. Every day anew, listen to your heart.
  • Allow life, time and space to love you and others.

I wish you a wonderful fragrant time

Eila Büche.

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